I threw a “big” birthday party for 42, it’s the answer to the ultimate question! It was so much fun that I repeated it on a smaller scale for 43 and it might have ushered in an annual birthday party where we raid our massive wine collection and cook a bunch of food and just have people over
I love this! Honestly, you’ve made me see the number 42 in a whole new light 😄
What a joyful, grounded way to mark the year, and I love that it became an annual tradition! Wine, food, and people we love? That might be the real answer to the ultimate question after all 🍷✨
I turn 29 in August, my 28th was celebrated with my first child and it felt like nothing mattered in the world. This year however, came with a lot of reflection. My baby turned 1 in April and seeing him achieve milestones put me in a rollercoaster of emotions, I’m glad and happy that he’s the smartest little boy ever,achieving milestones so early on and then there’s the feeling of how inexperienced I am,the feeling of not being or having enough to carter to his every need, the feeling of how I didn’t expect to have a child while I haven’t accomplished anything ‘notable’.
Like I said,rollercoaster of emotions. I’m learning however that the journey of life usually doesn’t go as planned or expected but our interpretation of our experiences are what really makes the difference,so lately,I’m deciding to intentionally interpret my experience as “all working together for good” .
I felt every word of this. The tenderness, the doubt, the bigness of it all, motherhood truly is a rollercoaster. And full of paradoxes: we love to see them grow, but we want time to stop; we’re tired, but we’re so happy; we feel empowered, yet so vulnerable.
One of my life mantras is something I hold close, especially when I feel challenged: “life happens for me.” And I see that same spirit in the way you’re choosing to interpret your path. It’s all shaping you, growing you, stretching your heart.
Thank you for sharing so openly. You’re doing beautifully. 💛
Okay, so I turned 24 this day last month, and I only remember the day with so much anxiety for my future... where I am going and how far I have come... I'm not living up to the standard I had set for myself, but reading pieces like these is the respite I never knew I needed. Thank you for holding my hand with your words and telling me it's okay to get older. The present is the most critical timeline, and sometimes we waste it staying worried about the future and the past. Thank you so much once again... I loved reading every word.
David, thank you for your beautiful honesty. Your words gave me a little lump in my throat. I remember that kind of anxiety so well, the pressure to already be someone, to prove something.
It means a lot to know this piece brought you some calm. You’re so right: the present is everything. And you’re doing beautifully, just by being here and noticing it all. 🌿
At fifty-two, I'm experiencing a truly distinctive phase. The humor isn't lost on me that no one's been this age previously, but there’s also a quiet acknowledgment of passing a certain youthful benchmark. What truly resonates is the profound sense of respectability, responsibility, and dignity that comes with my roles as an uncle and a father. I feel an immense gratitude for the life I've lived and for the life yet to unfold.
This is so beautifully expressed, thank you for sharing this moment of your own journey with me. That blend of humor, dignity, and gratitude is so grounding. I especially felt the part about stepping into roles with responsibility and presence, it’s inspiring. Wishing you a gentle unfolding of all that’s ahead.
I love your bold honesty, bravery and heartfelt blog. I totally understand. I had time and place reflections at 30 and then again at 50. What I learned is that mindset is everything. We’re always re-inventing, and it’s never as we think it will be. It is ‘always’ your delightful surprise. Your journey. The older we get, we realise that unlike when we are young and look for the big things, that the small things really are the big things. Your picture highlights that.
Thank you so much for this generous reflection. I feel deeply seen by your words. Yes, mindset is everything, and I love how you describe reinvention as a constant, surprising companion. That reminder that “the small things are the big things” truly resonates right now. I’m grateful for your presence here.
Beautifully, transparently written. The ages, or chapters, we saunter through in life are pieces of our deeper meaning and purpose. I love how you’ve meandered through your feelings about this particular age and what it means in your world…sharing it with us. Thank you! And Happy Birthday!!!🎉
Thank you so much, Kendra! Your words feel like a soft breeze brushing through the pages of this new chapter. I love the way you describe life’s seasons as meandering through meaning and purpose, yes, that’s exactly it. I’m touched that you came along for the ride in this reflection, and so grateful for your presence here. 💛
Just turned 41 yesterday. I think I'm done feeling existential-crisis. Been feeling it since I turned 30, lol ("Omg i'm so oldddd". Right? Didn't we all say that each time it's our birthday? I think I might have started saying that since I turned 20!). But I look at the mid 40s. the late 40s. The 50s. The 60s. They're living out their best life! So that's where I try to focus on now. Forward. Not lamenting the good ol days. Happy 42nd!!!
It’s so true, each decade brings a new version of that same old “oh no, I’m getting old” feeling. But I love your shift in focus. Forward. Not lamenting. There’s something powerful about embracing what’s still to come. Thank you for this reminder, and happy 41st to you! 💛
I’m 51 and don’t think about it much. I’m a middle-school teacher and my students are frequently surprised when they learn that I’m that old. The number doesn’t matter, but the life circumstances do. The daughter that is in college that I don’t see as much, the mother who is starting to have end-of-life issues.
Thank you for sharing. It’s such a grounding perspective, that it’s not the number but the life around us that really shapes the season we’re in. I felt a quiet strength in your words. Wishing you presence and peace in all the transitions you’re holding.
I’m turning 39 this year and I often find myself pondering the dissonance between how I feel and what seems to be societally expected from women nearing their 40s (and above).
I’ve never felt more like myself, more sure of my worth and more certain of what I want that I do now. I feel stronger, wiser, more self-aware, more respectful of and in tune with my body. In many ways I feel like I’m only just becoming my real self and so this feels like the true beginning.
And although I don’t look the same as I did when I was in my twenties, with more lines & greys appearing each year, and my body bears some marks from carrying and feeding my two kids, I feel more confident, beautiful and even sexier now than I ever did then. I guess beauty lives less in the eye of the beholder as you age, and is rather about how you feel about yourself on the inside.
This feels quite jarring when layered against our cultural obsession with women’s youth. Aside from the obvious culprits - films, TV, advertising - I see smaller signs in every day life too. Fellow mums saying they’ve donated half their wardrobes because they wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing those clothes now, divorced male friends eagerly focused on dating much younger women, and so much more.
Reading this felt like taking a deep, affirming breath. I recognize so much of myself in your words, the sense of finally becoming who I truly am, just as society starts whispering that I should begin to fade. The paradox is wild: inside, we grow into power, clarity, and sensuality… while the world keeps holding up a mirror that doesn’t reflect us back.
And yet, what you’ve shared is exactly the reminder we need: beauty isn’t a reflection, it’s a presence. A knowing. A wholeness. Thank you for putting this into words with such grace and strength. We need more voices like yours redefining what it means to be radiant at every age.
I love reflecting on age. Personally, I love being older rather than younger. I always felt deeply uncomfortable as a young person, better with age they say! I feel more confident, joyful and excited about the life I'm building. I struggled in my twenties, and I remember hearing Robbie Williams say that it gets better in your thirties. I saw him recently and he said, aging is the best thing there is. And I wholeheartedly agree with him.
I really love what you said here. Aging as the best thing there is? Yes please, I’m ready for that shift of perspective! I feel like the older I get, the more I feel like I’m finally landing in myself. Thanks for sharing this, it really touched me. 💛
What a sweet reflection! I remember at 22 after exhausting all the cool birthdays (15, 16, 17 - getting my licence, 18, 19 - the age you can drink in Ontario, 20, 21) getting a tattoo to mark the occasion! 😂 This year, my birthday was a campaign launch, as I made the decision to run for office - the culmination of everything my high school self envisioned for my life. I love the idea of a field where we get more rooted and go deeper. Thanks for sharing!
Joy, I loved reading this, what a journey! From tattoos to campaign launches, that’s such a vivid arc of becoming. ✨
It reminded me of when I turned 18 and threw a beach party, just as the fireworks from a nearby village lit up the sky at midnight. Total surprise! It felt like the whole world was celebrating.
Now, at 42, the moments may be quieter… but just as magical. Thank you for being here and sharing your story. I love that you resonated with the image of the field, where we grow deeper, not just older. 💛
It’s been hard to age with chronic illness—time goes on while you sit in the stillness, and milestones creep closer. I’m buoyed to see you with your sweet baby, congratulations!
I had an especially tough time with 35 because of the sharpness of the number and the way it felt like the tipping point into something else.
My heart also skips a beat when I learn I’m older than actors in shows (like SJP in Sex and the City). I still feel like a kid sometimes! Little Lisa is a part of me and hopefully always will be.
Lovely read. It’s only in these last years that my age has “let” me down. You see, all my life my age didn’t bother me. Each year was a great year. My 50’s my best. At 67…. No I mustn’t blame age 🤣. My worst year age wise, makes me sad. Very sad.
Dear Brenda, thank you for sharing this so openly. It moved me deeply. I hear the sadness in your words, and also the rich life behind them, the joy of your 50s, the feeling of each year being meaningful in its own way.
Aging holds so much paradox, doesn’t it? Beauty and grief, pride and vulnerability. I hope this next season holds some unexpected sweetness for you, too.
I threw a “big” birthday party for 42, it’s the answer to the ultimate question! It was so much fun that I repeated it on a smaller scale for 43 and it might have ushered in an annual birthday party where we raid our massive wine collection and cook a bunch of food and just have people over
I love this! Honestly, you’ve made me see the number 42 in a whole new light 😄
What a joyful, grounded way to mark the year, and I love that it became an annual tradition! Wine, food, and people we love? That might be the real answer to the ultimate question after all 🍷✨
I turn 29 in August, my 28th was celebrated with my first child and it felt like nothing mattered in the world. This year however, came with a lot of reflection. My baby turned 1 in April and seeing him achieve milestones put me in a rollercoaster of emotions, I’m glad and happy that he’s the smartest little boy ever,achieving milestones so early on and then there’s the feeling of how inexperienced I am,the feeling of not being or having enough to carter to his every need, the feeling of how I didn’t expect to have a child while I haven’t accomplished anything ‘notable’.
Like I said,rollercoaster of emotions. I’m learning however that the journey of life usually doesn’t go as planned or expected but our interpretation of our experiences are what really makes the difference,so lately,I’m deciding to intentionally interpret my experience as “all working together for good” .
I felt every word of this. The tenderness, the doubt, the bigness of it all, motherhood truly is a rollercoaster. And full of paradoxes: we love to see them grow, but we want time to stop; we’re tired, but we’re so happy; we feel empowered, yet so vulnerable.
One of my life mantras is something I hold close, especially when I feel challenged: “life happens for me.” And I see that same spirit in the way you’re choosing to interpret your path. It’s all shaping you, growing you, stretching your heart.
Thank you for sharing so openly. You’re doing beautifully. 💛
Okay, so I turned 24 this day last month, and I only remember the day with so much anxiety for my future... where I am going and how far I have come... I'm not living up to the standard I had set for myself, but reading pieces like these is the respite I never knew I needed. Thank you for holding my hand with your words and telling me it's okay to get older. The present is the most critical timeline, and sometimes we waste it staying worried about the future and the past. Thank you so much once again... I loved reading every word.
David, thank you for your beautiful honesty. Your words gave me a little lump in my throat. I remember that kind of anxiety so well, the pressure to already be someone, to prove something.
It means a lot to know this piece brought you some calm. You’re so right: the present is everything. And you’re doing beautifully, just by being here and noticing it all. 🌿
Okay, this is the part i ugly cry now…. thank you so much… and i hope you keep doing what you do.
Okay, no more tears, we’re officially switching to tea and deep breaths now 😄
I’m so glad the piece landed with you.
Thanks again for reading with your whole heart. You’ve made my day. 🌱
At fifty-two, I'm experiencing a truly distinctive phase. The humor isn't lost on me that no one's been this age previously, but there’s also a quiet acknowledgment of passing a certain youthful benchmark. What truly resonates is the profound sense of respectability, responsibility, and dignity that comes with my roles as an uncle and a father. I feel an immense gratitude for the life I've lived and for the life yet to unfold.
This is so beautifully expressed, thank you for sharing this moment of your own journey with me. That blend of humor, dignity, and gratitude is so grounding. I especially felt the part about stepping into roles with responsibility and presence, it’s inspiring. Wishing you a gentle unfolding of all that’s ahead.
I love your bold honesty, bravery and heartfelt blog. I totally understand. I had time and place reflections at 30 and then again at 50. What I learned is that mindset is everything. We’re always re-inventing, and it’s never as we think it will be. It is ‘always’ your delightful surprise. Your journey. The older we get, we realise that unlike when we are young and look for the big things, that the small things really are the big things. Your picture highlights that.
Thank you so much for this generous reflection. I feel deeply seen by your words. Yes, mindset is everything, and I love how you describe reinvention as a constant, surprising companion. That reminder that “the small things are the big things” truly resonates right now. I’m grateful for your presence here.
Beautifully, transparently written. The ages, or chapters, we saunter through in life are pieces of our deeper meaning and purpose. I love how you’ve meandered through your feelings about this particular age and what it means in your world…sharing it with us. Thank you! And Happy Birthday!!!🎉
Thank you so much, Kendra! Your words feel like a soft breeze brushing through the pages of this new chapter. I love the way you describe life’s seasons as meandering through meaning and purpose, yes, that’s exactly it. I’m touched that you came along for the ride in this reflection, and so grateful for your presence here. 💛
Thank YOU, Ana! And I’m grateful for YOUR presence!💛
Just turned 41 yesterday. I think I'm done feeling existential-crisis. Been feeling it since I turned 30, lol ("Omg i'm so oldddd". Right? Didn't we all say that each time it's our birthday? I think I might have started saying that since I turned 20!). But I look at the mid 40s. the late 40s. The 50s. The 60s. They're living out their best life! So that's where I try to focus on now. Forward. Not lamenting the good ol days. Happy 42nd!!!
It’s so true, each decade brings a new version of that same old “oh no, I’m getting old” feeling. But I love your shift in focus. Forward. Not lamenting. There’s something powerful about embracing what’s still to come. Thank you for this reminder, and happy 41st to you! 💛
I’m 51 and don’t think about it much. I’m a middle-school teacher and my students are frequently surprised when they learn that I’m that old. The number doesn’t matter, but the life circumstances do. The daughter that is in college that I don’t see as much, the mother who is starting to have end-of-life issues.
Thank you for sharing. It’s such a grounding perspective, that it’s not the number but the life around us that really shapes the season we’re in. I felt a quiet strength in your words. Wishing you presence and peace in all the transitions you’re holding.
I’m turning 39 this year and I often find myself pondering the dissonance between how I feel and what seems to be societally expected from women nearing their 40s (and above).
I’ve never felt more like myself, more sure of my worth and more certain of what I want that I do now. I feel stronger, wiser, more self-aware, more respectful of and in tune with my body. In many ways I feel like I’m only just becoming my real self and so this feels like the true beginning.
And although I don’t look the same as I did when I was in my twenties, with more lines & greys appearing each year, and my body bears some marks from carrying and feeding my two kids, I feel more confident, beautiful and even sexier now than I ever did then. I guess beauty lives less in the eye of the beholder as you age, and is rather about how you feel about yourself on the inside.
This feels quite jarring when layered against our cultural obsession with women’s youth. Aside from the obvious culprits - films, TV, advertising - I see smaller signs in every day life too. Fellow mums saying they’ve donated half their wardrobes because they wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing those clothes now, divorced male friends eagerly focused on dating much younger women, and so much more.
Reading this felt like taking a deep, affirming breath. I recognize so much of myself in your words, the sense of finally becoming who I truly am, just as society starts whispering that I should begin to fade. The paradox is wild: inside, we grow into power, clarity, and sensuality… while the world keeps holding up a mirror that doesn’t reflect us back.
And yet, what you’ve shared is exactly the reminder we need: beauty isn’t a reflection, it’s a presence. A knowing. A wholeness. Thank you for putting this into words with such grace and strength. We need more voices like yours redefining what it means to be radiant at every age.
I love reflecting on age. Personally, I love being older rather than younger. I always felt deeply uncomfortable as a young person, better with age they say! I feel more confident, joyful and excited about the life I'm building. I struggled in my twenties, and I remember hearing Robbie Williams say that it gets better in your thirties. I saw him recently and he said, aging is the best thing there is. And I wholeheartedly agree with him.
I really love what you said here. Aging as the best thing there is? Yes please, I’m ready for that shift of perspective! I feel like the older I get, the more I feel like I’m finally landing in myself. Thanks for sharing this, it really touched me. 💛
Not at all, just speaking truth :)
What a sweet reflection! I remember at 22 after exhausting all the cool birthdays (15, 16, 17 - getting my licence, 18, 19 - the age you can drink in Ontario, 20, 21) getting a tattoo to mark the occasion! 😂 This year, my birthday was a campaign launch, as I made the decision to run for office - the culmination of everything my high school self envisioned for my life. I love the idea of a field where we get more rooted and go deeper. Thanks for sharing!
Joy, I loved reading this, what a journey! From tattoos to campaign launches, that’s such a vivid arc of becoming. ✨
It reminded me of when I turned 18 and threw a beach party, just as the fireworks from a nearby village lit up the sky at midnight. Total surprise! It felt like the whole world was celebrating.
Now, at 42, the moments may be quieter… but just as magical. Thank you for being here and sharing your story. I love that you resonated with the image of the field, where we grow deeper, not just older. 💛
Thank you for the gentle words this morning. ❤️
It’s been hard to age with chronic illness—time goes on while you sit in the stillness, and milestones creep closer. I’m buoyed to see you with your sweet baby, congratulations!
I had an especially tough time with 35 because of the sharpness of the number and the way it felt like the tipping point into something else.
My heart also skips a beat when I learn I’m older than actors in shows (like SJP in Sex and the City). I still feel like a kid sometimes! Little Lisa is a part of me and hopefully always will be.
Oh Lisa, thank you for sharing this so openly. I can feel the weight and tenderness in your words.
That image of time creeping closer while you sit in stillness, so vivid and true.
And yes, 35 also hit me with unexpected sharpness.
I love that Little Lisa still lives in you, I think she’s a powerful guide.
May she keep dancing beside you through it all. 💛
Thank you for the sweet reply, dear!
I mention age (53) so the kids here know I'm a square going forward. (Plus it annoys them when you use their own rizz against them. fr.)🌝
Haha, I love this. Using their own rizz against them is top-tier strategy.
And honestly, if being square means having this kind of wit, I’ll gladly join the club. 😄🧡
Beating youth isn't torture, it’s training. 🌝
Lovely read. It’s only in these last years that my age has “let” me down. You see, all my life my age didn’t bother me. Each year was a great year. My 50’s my best. At 67…. No I mustn’t blame age 🤣. My worst year age wise, makes me sad. Very sad.
Dear Brenda, thank you for sharing this so openly. It moved me deeply. I hear the sadness in your words, and also the rich life behind them, the joy of your 50s, the feeling of each year being meaningful in its own way.
Aging holds so much paradox, doesn’t it? Beauty and grief, pride and vulnerability. I hope this next season holds some unexpected sweetness for you, too.
I’m so grateful you’re here.
Thank you so much, Pelle 😊
I’m happy to know that it resonated with you. Grateful you’re here 🌿