42 Isn’t a Sexy Number
but this birthday might have been the most beautiful one yet.
Yesterday, I turned 42.
It’s not a number that gets celebrated much.
Not magnetic like 33, not luminous like 28.
Not bold and round like 40.
Forty-two is the kind of number that passes quietly.
That makes people soften their voice, tilt their head and say,
“You don’t look it!”
And maybe I don’t.
Most days, I feel 30.
Sometimes 25 when I laugh with my baby,
and 65 when I forget where I put my coffee and my back aches from carrying all the things.
But this year, this birthday… felt different.
It was my first birthday with Tomás in the world.
My first as a mother.
My first one where the best gift is watching him sleep next to me,
his tiny breath rising and falling,
his chubby arms spread open like he trusts the world entirely.
I thought I might spend the day alone.
But no, he’s here.
And just like that, nothing feels missing.
Breakfast was picked up fresh for me.
We went for a swim in the lake.
His first.
I feel light, grounded, and quietly excited about what this next chapter will bring.
Not chasing anything. Just welcoming what comes.
I’ve spent so many birthdays measuring things:
What I’d achieved by now.
What was missing.
What I should have figured out already.
But this one felt softer.
Less like a checkpoint, more like a quiet ripple in time.
A moment to be, not to prove.
And it made me think, how often do we shrink behind our age?
Whisper it like a secret.
Treat it like a ceiling, or an expiration date, or a verdict on how much sparkle we’re allowed.
But what if our age is not a line we cross,
but a field we grow in?
What if we stopped trying to look young for our age,
and started living fully at every one of them?
So here’s to 42.
Not a particularly sexy number.
But a meaningful one.
A number with roots and depth.
With a lake in its memory, and a baby in its arms.
With sweetness, strength, and space to grow into something even more alive.
Thank you for reading these words.
Thank you for being part of this journey.
✨
If you're in your own tender season of life, I see you. I celebrate you too.
And I’d love to know:
How do you feel about the age you are right now?
Is there a number you’ve had to reclaim?
☀️
I threw a “big” birthday party for 42, it’s the answer to the ultimate question! It was so much fun that I repeated it on a smaller scale for 43 and it might have ushered in an annual birthday party where we raid our massive wine collection and cook a bunch of food and just have people over
I turn 29 in August, my 28th was celebrated with my first child and it felt like nothing mattered in the world. This year however, came with a lot of reflection. My baby turned 1 in April and seeing him achieve milestones put me in a rollercoaster of emotions, I’m glad and happy that he’s the smartest little boy ever,achieving milestones so early on and then there’s the feeling of how inexperienced I am,the feeling of not being or having enough to carter to his every need, the feeling of how I didn’t expect to have a child while I haven’t accomplished anything ‘notable’.
Like I said,rollercoaster of emotions. I’m learning however that the journey of life usually doesn’t go as planned or expected but our interpretation of our experiences are what really makes the difference,so lately,I’m deciding to intentionally interpret my experience as “all working together for good” .